Following Kathy Hilton's Unhelpful Advice on Getting Pregnant, Paris Hilton Is Setting the Record Straight on Her IVF Journey

Kathy Hilton is trying to support her daughter Paris on her pregnancy journey, and even though her heart is in the right place, the way that she’s approaching the subject is hurtful and damaging for women who struggle with infertility.

The heiress recently told E! News of Paris and her husband Carter Reum’s alleged struggle to conceive, “It breaks my heart because I know she is trying and trying and I always say, ‘Just relax.’ So many people, they struggle and it doesn’t just happen like that.”

Kathy is clearly trying to be supportive, but there are a few problems with what she’s said. First of all, “just relax” is laughably unhelpful advice for anyone trying to get pregnant. In an article by The Cut, the issue is put plainly: “The problem, though, is that stress alone is unlikely to be a sole cause of infertility; if you have a condition that affects your ability to get pregnant or maintain a pregnancy, no amount of de-stressing will cure it.”

The article goes on to share that as far back as the 5th century B.C., “a woman’s psychological state [was tied] to her reproductive capabilities,” and that it was widely believed that “hysteria” could cause a woman to become “sterile.” The infuriatingly inaccurate idea is still deeply ingrained in the patriarchal-oriented mind of society, and Kathy Hilton’s comments about her daughter are proof of that.

Jennifer “Jay” Palumbo, director of member engagement at Progyny, a New York-based fertility benefits company, compared the notion of a person trying to conceive and being told to relax to a person with diabetes trying to wish away their medical condition. She said in an interview, “It’s like telling a diabetic that has a high sugar level, ‘Don’t worry about it, just relax. Go on vacation and your sugar levels and your insulin will be fixed.’ It’s illogical.” She went on to explain that infertility is almost always attributed to a medical condition that impacts the ability to conceive, which has “nothing to do with mental state and meditation.” It seems so comically obvious, but alas, here we are breaking it down once again.

The other thing that’s concerning about Kathy’s statement to E! is that it’s simply not her place to share such sensitive information — not even as her daughter’s mother. If Paris wants to share her journey publicly, that’s her call and no one else’s. In fact, what Kathy said isn’t even true, according to Paris. When asked about her mother’s claims by TMZ, the newlywed said she has no idea where her mom got that idea and shared that she and Reum have embryos “stocked up” and ready to go when the time is right.

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